Practicing Presence

Usually in a constellation, when we are representing for somebody else's constellation, we represent for a single role. The facilitator may take us out of that role, put a marker in our place and move us on to another role. In which case, we will need to come back to ourselves, walk around outside of the constellation setting and then return to the constellation and represent in the new representation.

When we represent only, we can go deep and get overshadowed by the representation. We can be carried away in the field and become that person or entity. It is important to know that we are able to dial down or tone down a representation so that we can keep one foot in our own person and another in the representation that we are doing. This is crucial when representing someone who's experienced trauma.

So, how do we be Present with a trauma, pain or loss in our client's field? It is an extension of what we practice in awareness meditation, when we are Present with what arises in our own physical body, in our own emotional body and in the mind. We do not try to make anything happen, we do not try to change anything and nor do we try to get rid of anything in that meditation. We are simply experiencing without judgement and censorship what arises and we are giving it our best awareness. That is Presence. And it is something that we all individually need to develop our own concept of. It's not a concept that can be learnt from a book or from a teaching, it's something that needs to be experienced for yourself.

I could call it the “I am Presence” or Consciousness or the “Wisdom of the moment”, but these are still intellectual constructs. What does help is remaining aware of the breath and breathing and actively breathing when one is experiencing these intensities in your client's field. It is only once one has processed the trauma in the client's field that it is recommended to move on to the next step, which could be bringing in an ancestor or some other member of the family. Sometimes the intensity can even overwhelm the facilitator. And that is when more conscious breathing is necessary and sometimes stepping out, at least partially, of the representation.

I have experienced so much intensity in a client's field due to their experience of genocide that I nearly fainted. It was only by remaining in contact with my body and my breath did I move through and process the experience for the client. One must also choose one’s battles here. There can be large trauma vortexes that a client's field is entangled with, and in these cases it's best to not go too deeply and to rather bring in a resource, like an archetype, behind the trauma vortex.

When one works with Presence, we must only do as much as we can as facilitators, as you will experience many terrible things in the systems of people that come to you. But there is a way through it, and when one processes these traumas with Presence, the field does move through them. It seems like we have an innate fear of being overwhelmed by an energy and an emotion. The common strategy that most of us have chosen is avoidance or suppression – and often with good reason. However the more affective strategy is by digesting these experiences for the client. This takes practice but we all have the ability.